Be Flexible

Last month I stayed at the Abbey of Gethsemani in Kentucky for the better part of a week.  The monks there are predominantly contemplative.  They pray the Divine Office, largely composed of the Psalms, which they chant in unison, seven times a day.  However, they also perform various kinds of work there at the monastery.  They have made cheese and fudge and fruitcake.  Some of them write spiritual texts.  Others plant and grow and pick fruits and vegetables on the grounds of the abbey.  Still others tend the grounds of the abbey.

During my stay at the abbey, I got to speak with a couple of the monks more than once.  One of them entered the abbey when he was relatively young, and he is now elderly.  He mentioned more than once to me that he had authored a booklet containing some of his spiritual musings.  Since he mentioned the booklet to me multiple times, I figured I should pick it up from the abbey bookstore.  Accordingly, I stopped into the bookstore and bought this monk's booklet.  In it he relates how he was asked to change jobs at the abbey.  I took his change of situation as a good example to follow, and as a way to help maintain perspective.  Things could be more challenging than they have been for me, and in additional ways than they already are.

I have a warm, encouraging, sympathetic, patient, accommodating and helpful principal as my boss now.  I have co-workers, both teachers and staff alike, who are pleasant, helpful and supportive.  I work in a calm, serene, sane workplace.

Given that I feel unversed in teaching a group of students with such a wide range of abilities, I have felt severely challenged in this work.  However, I chose this job, unlike the monk I noted above, who was being asked to take on a new position, who knew nothing about the kind of new work he was being asked to start doing.  Further, I am not making this career shift as an elderly person, unlike the monk I described above who changed jobs once he was aged.  He made those changes as an elderly person, being flexible despite his age, adapting to the new and unfamiliar demands made upon him.  I am not so challenged as he was.  As I consider him, I feel called to keep my situation in perspective.  I am reminded that my situation could be more challenging than it is.  And I take him as inspiration.  May we all accept what we are called to do as he did. 

Memento Mori

Since I started living here in Chicago last month, I've been enjoying going to church.  One of the times I attended Catholic Mass earlier this month, the priest told a story during his sermon. 

A man went to a monastery on a retreat.  He went there for some quiet contemplative time, since he was trying to decide whether to become a priest or a psychologist.  Everyday, he would go for a stroll on the grounds of the monastery.  When he went on his walks, he would always pass a monk who would say to him, "Memento Mori."  Finally, when the week was over, the time came for the man to leave the monastery.  Soon before he was going to depart from the monastery, the man again crossed paths with the monk.

"Well?" inquired the monk.  "What did you decide?"

The man replied, "I have decided that I am going to become a psychologist."

"So?" asked the monk.  "What now?" 

"Well, I am going to go to graduate school."

"And then what?"

"Then I will get a job as a psychologist.  And I am going to fall in love and get married."

"Then what?"

"Then we will have kids."

"Then what?"

"My children will start attending school."

"Then what?"

"Eventually, my children will attend college."

"Then what?"

"By then, I suppose I will retire."

"Then what?"

"Well, since I will be retired, I will get to travel to some places I've never been." 

"Then what?"

"Well, by then, I suppose that my children will be having their own children, so I will enjoy spending time with my grandchildren."

"Then what?"

The man thought for a moment.  "I suppose that soon after that, I will die."

"Then what?"

The man looked a bit concerned.  "Well, then I will go before God, and I hope that He will be pleased with how I have lived my life."

The monk explained, "This is why I kept saying to you, 'Memento Mori,'" meaning 'Remember death,' or 'Think about what will happen when you die.'"  

Orientation Part Two: Racism, Injustice, Poverty, And Personal Choices

After the day at Lasallian Volunteer (LV) Orientation when we all went to Covenant Harbor as I described in my last blog entry, next we were back at Lewis University in Illinois, where we had sessions on numerous topics.  We had one period where the leader asked us to talk about our motivations for joining the LV program and about our views on social justice. 

During that session, as the facilitator made differing statements about various topics, each time he made one of these statements, he asked us to get into one of four groups, the first group if we strongly agreed with the statement, the second if we agreed with the statement, the third if we disagreed with the statement, and the fourth if we strongly disagreed with the statement.  I must say I was interested to see where my fellow LVs stood in the room as the session facilitator made each statement.

The presenter said, "My main reason for joining the LV program is to grow spiritually."  I stood in the quarter of the room to indicate that I strongly agreed that the statement applied to me.  I joined the LV program to help myself discern the type of work I want to do, to help me see if I would like to teach full-time.  But moreso I joined the LV program to see how I feel about living in faith-based community.  And even more than living in community, I joined the LV program to grow spiritually, from serving others in the work I am going to do, and also, I feel even moreso, by living in faith-based community.  While living in community, I hope to learn primarily about myself, what I need to improve in myself, and what weaknesses I have which I must accept in myself.  While living in community, I also would like to learn about others, about the other members of the community, and how I can support them.  Yet truly by living in community, I hope that in gaining this knowledge, and in applying it, in trying to be more kind and compassionate to others around me, I hope to grow spiritually.  I see community as a means to an end, not simply an end in itself.

Next the facilitator said, "My main reason for joining the LV program is to live in faith-based community."  Since I believe that community is a means to the end of spiritual growth, I only moved one group over, so that I was in the category to show that I agreed with the statement.

Later the presenter read the statement, "Racism is the primary cause of suffering and injustice in the United States."  Here the population of LVs was mostly in the middle of the room.  I was in the group which disagreed with the statement.  A friend of mine, who strongly disagreed with the statement, started explaining that he believes that not racism, but prejudice, is the main cause of suffering and injustice in the U.S.  He went on to say that racism is only one way in which prejudice is manifested.  He added that sexism has been the cause of much suffering and injustice in the U.S.A. as well.  He opined that racism, sexism and other forms of discrimination have the same root, which he termed prejudice.  Once he had explained his viewpoint, I moved into his quadrant of the room.  Although I would've phrased my thoughts on it a bit differently, I agreed with the basic thrust of his point.  I would've stated that hatred is the primary cause of racism and sexism and other forms of suffering and injustice anywhere.

During that session, I did not add my thoughts to the discussion, since the presenter was moving the conversation along.  Here online, I am relatively unconstrained by time.  Thus I can state that not only do I believe that hatred is the primary cause of suffering and justice, but also that conversely, love is the root of well-being and justice.

And I believe that we can best achieve justice by loving as best as we can.  Indeed, I follow and try to emulate Jesus as a Christian since no one else has lived a life of love as well as Jesus did.  In addition to living without sin, He laid down His life, allowing Himself to be crucified such that He died on the cross for all of us.  Since Jesus is so important to me, indeed since He is my Savior, I note that I follow Him specifically as a Christian because Christians believe that He died on the cross and triumphed over death in His resurrection, which Muslims do not believe.  I honor the full extent of the sacrifice Jesus made and the example He set.  As Jesus Himself said, at John 15:13, "There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for others."  And He did so of His own free will.  As we read at John 10:18, He noted that He laid down His life of His own accord, and that He could have taken it up again if He had chosen to do so.

Had I expressed these thoughts, including these on the pivotal role of free will, during this session at Orientation, they could have dovetailed into the presenter's next statement, when he said, "The majority of people living in poverty are poor because of bad personal choices."  All of the LVs in the room moved to the side of the room to indicate that they either disagreed or strongly disagreed with the statement.  Indeed, with around 50 of us LVs in the room, I wasn't sure that all of us could fit into one quarter of the room, so I'm not sure whether or not everyone strongly disagreed with the statement, or whether some of us strongly disagreed with it and others just disagreed with it.

After we had been discussing this statement for a little while, I raised my hand and noted that nearly all of the people, if not everyone, in the room had chosen at some point, whether in the past, present or continuing into the future, to be financially poor.  Of course, the vast majority of us in the room were LVs.  Aside from the LVs in the room, LV staff were also in the room.  Most LV staff members used to be LVs themselves, and thus used to live on the modest stipend LVs receive. 

I further noted that plenty of people (which would include monks, nuns, priests, social justice activists, pro bono lawyers, and Peace Corps volunteers, among many others) would view that voluntary decision to be monetarily poor as a good personal choice.  I wanted to be sure that not everyone in the room was looking at financial poverty as a bad thing!  I found it appropriate to point out that many find it laudable to be purposefully financially poor by reminding everyone in the room that probably all of them chose financial poverty at some point in their lives.  Granted, I am fully aware that the vast majority of impoverished people in the world are not monetarily poor by choice.  Nevertheless, I wanted to illustrate that the question could be viewed from a different perspective. 

Soon thereafter, again trying to look at the question from a different perspective, I asked the session facilitator if he had intended for the statement to apply to financial poverty.  He indicated that one did not necessarily have to interpret the statement as dealing with poverty in a monetary sense.  As soon as he had said that, I began moving my way through the crowd which had gathered on the one side of the room.  I walked over to the other side of the room, where I now stood alone.  I explained that if the statement is taken as applying to spiritual poverty, then I strongly disagreed with it.  All of us, every last one of us, who is spiritually poor is in that condition because we have made poor personal choices.  (And I quickly point out that many of us, including myself, are spiritually poor.  We are trying to crawl out of the darkness which comes along with the bad choices we have made; we are trying to return to The Light, which is from God above.) 

We all have free will.  All of us know the difference between right and wrong.  Each of us has a conscience.  It is only us who do spiritual damage to ourselves.  Others might be able to physically injure us or financially harm us.  How we choose to respond to events in our lives determines our spiritual state of health.  As Jesus noted, nothing from outside us can hurt us.  As He also explained at Mark 7:15-23, it is what is within us which hurts us; the poor personal choices we make are what hurt us, since ultimately we can only be responsible for our own choices.  We cannot be responsible for what is done to us, but we can, and indeed are, whether we like it or not, responsible for how we respond to events in our lives. 

Since we are responsible for the choices we make, we are also more specifically responsible for how we respond to others in need.  And when we help others who need our assistance, we not only help them, but we also create spiritual wealth for ourselves. 

What kind of wealth do we want to amass?  At what expense?  When we accumulate spiritual wealth, often we put assisting others over earning money for ourselves.  Do we help others, perhaps at the expense of our bank account?  Do we help our own bank account, perhaps at the expense of our souls?  As Jesus noted at Matthew 6:21, where your treasure is, there also will your heart be. 

Do we help someone else in need, or do we pass by that person?  The LV program was founded to provide volunteering opportunities for helping disadvantaged youths, clearly a decision to help those in need.  By helping others in need, and in doing so rather than pursuing material wealth, one redefines wealth.  True wealth, wealth that will last for eternity, is spiritual wealth. 

We can only be responsible for our own choices, including the ones we make about the types of wealth we accumulate.  Thus our choices truly define us; they determine our eternal destiny.  Make yours reflect the best values you can. 

Invitation To Become A Lasallian Volunteer

In March this year, my first-choice volunteer program, Lasallian Volunteers, accepted me. Yet I feel I should back up to give some context of how I came to apply to be a Lasallian Volunteer.

When I was living in Morocco and working there as a Peace Corps Volunteer in the field of Youth Development from 2010 to 2012, I experienced spiritual changes which helped me gain clarity about the kind of life I want to live. While I lived in Morocco, I had a lot of free time. I tried to make good use of my copious spare time, using it to read the entire Old Testament, then the entire New Testament, then all of the Old Testament Apochrypha. I also gradually read all of "The Imitation Of Christ" by Thomas a Kempis, which many feel is the most treasured text in Christianity after the Bible.

Amongst the other Christian writings I read while I was in Morocco, I read "Celebration Of Discipline" by Richard Foster, as well as the accompanying study guide which Foster also wrote. In those books, Foster discusses spiritual disciplines which can help place one before God, which can help focus on God, which can help one commune with God, including prayer, study, meditation, fasting, simplicity, solitude, community, worship, celebration and service. As I read these books, I came to realize that Foster was describing elements of my life at that point in Morocco which I had been enjoying.

Of course I had been enjoying serving impoverished persons through my work as a Peace Corps Volunteer. I had long found fulfillment from helping poor people in a variety of ways, so it came as no surprise that I found satisfaction from serving poor persons whilst in the Peace Corps. 

I had been living simply as a Peace Corps Volunteer. I didn't miss the paycheck I used to earn as a lawyer, nor did I miss the possessions I had shed just before moving to Morocco. Indeed, as I progressed in my Peace Corps service, and came to rid myself of more property, I grew to want to give away even more possessions. Not only did I want to live even more and more simply, I wanted to do so as I simultaneously knew that to do so is an attempt to practice a spiritual discipline.

Before I had read Foster's writings on the spiritual disciplines, I had known in a general sense that the spiritual disciplines present worthwhile spiritual practices. After reading Foster's books, I came to be aware of why they are helpful to one's spiritual development. I further became aware of their importance in my life, and how they relate to each other. I appreciated his exposition on the spiritual disciplines, since upon reading his writings, I was better able to organize my thoughts regarding my spiritual journey and the facets of my life which I hoped to retain in my life once I left Morocco.

Soon after reading these two volumes by Foster, I read Thomas Merton's autobiography, "The Seven Storey Mountain," in which Merton describes how he came to be a Trappist monk. It occurred to me that as a monk, one can live a life of service, and also of solitude, yet also of community, a life which is especially conducive to prayer, meditation and study of The Word Of God.

Accordingly, once I left Morocco, I visited monasteries on my way back to the USA. I enjoyed my stays at Glenstal Abbey and at Mount Saint Joseph Abbey in Ireland. Even moreso I enjoyed my stay at Belmont Abbey in the United Kingdom. There I stayed inside the abbey with the monks for a week, unlike how I had stayed in the guesthouses at the monasteries in Ireland.  From those monastery visits, I found that I enjoyed the company of persons who have chosen to live their lives consecrated to God. 

After having invested my extensive free time in reading which helped me to identify the kind of spiritual life I wanted to live, and after having stayed at and otherwise visited monasteries, I arrived back in the USA in late November 2012 intentionally looking for specific kinds of opportunities to serve others. During my time in Morocco, I enjoyed spiritual community with other expatriate Christians who were also living in Morocco. I would meet up with them for Bible study, sometimes as often as once a week. I cherished the fellowship we shared as we supported each other in our faith as Christians. As much as I enjoyed the fellowship with them, I also knew that I needed more spiritual community than weekly Bible study sessions. I concluded that I wanted to live in a Christian faith-based community. Thus, I arrived back in the USA seeking opportunities to serve poor persons while living simply as a member of a Christian faith-based community, perhaps as a member of a volunteer program.

Although I started looking for such opportunities about a week after I arrived back in the USA, initially I could not find them. I searched intermittently for brief periods for such opportunities, not consistently searching for them partly because I was especially occupied given that Christmas was soon approaching. Even though I had not been persistently looking for these volunteer programs, by the time New Year's Eve arrived, I was starting to despair that I would not be able to find a way to continue serving poor persons while living simply in a Christian faith-based community.

Then right around New Year's Eve, while doing an Internet search, I found the website www.catholicvolunteernetwork.org. On that website, I found numerous opportunities to volunteer. I found full-time options and part-time options. I found chances to volunteer abroad or in many states in the USA. I found programs offering positions where one could teach, be a social worker, volunteer in a soup kitchen, and serve in many other ways. I found programs where volunteers work in connection with friars and sisters. I found programs where volunteers could get health insurance, room and board, and modest living stipends. In short, I found so many volunteering possibilities that I had to start prioritizing which programs were most appealing to me.

Soon I had developed a list consisting of a few tiers of programs with progressively later deadlines. I applied to the first three programs at the top of my list. I filled out long applications with dozens of questions which called for short answers. I asked former work supervisors, pastors and a co-worker to write recommendations for me. Once I had submitted the applications, I began to wait.

After perhaps a couple of weeks, I heard back from Lasallian Volunteers, which was my top choice. They wanted to interview me! I was glad to get this news. I knew that Lasallian Volunteers was a staff organization which was founded by the Brothers of the Christian Schools to run a nationwide network of volunteers. I knew that Lasallian Volunteers places volunteers in positions where they serve impoverished youths, often in educational settings. I wanted to teach. I had enjoyed teaching as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Morocco. When I was applying to the Peace Corps, I enjoyed being a teacher's assistant to a teacher who was teaching ESL (English As A Second Language), and I also enjoyed tutoring people in ESL during that same period. When I was a lawyer, I always enjoyed educating people about the law, which had led me to want to teach in the Peace Corps. So I was excited to interview for a chance to become a Lasallian Volunteer (LV), since I knew that as an LV, I could probably not only teach, but also be a teacher for poor kids. And I was excited to interview to be an LV since LVs live in Christian faith-based community, most of them with Brothers of the Christian Schools.

In preparing for the interview, I learned about Saint John Baptist de la Salle, who founded the religious order known as the Brothers of the Christian Schools. He was a French priest who lived from 1651 to 1719, who did much to further education. While preparing for the interview, I read about middle schools and high schools affiliated with the Brothers, schools which are often called Lasallian schools, and which serve impoverished youths. I also read about other types of sites where LVs serve, including educational centers, a family therapy center, and a retreat center. I also read about the array of positions in which LVs serve, including in the position of teacher, tutor, social worker, campus minister, recreational activity leader, retreat facilitator, and development assistant. On the Lasallian Volunteers website, I also read about LVs who were serving. In all that I read, I got a positive impression of the LV program. As I read LVs' blog entries, I could tell that LVs are happy. As the interview neared, more and more I wanted to become an LV.

The interview lasted over an hour and a half. The interviewer asked me a variety of questions, which tended to revolve around faith, service and community, the main pillars on which the LV program is based. After the interview, I wanted to be an LV even more.

In the days after the interview, I tried to busy myself as I wondered about the status of my application. After a couple of weeks, which seemed much longer, I got word that I was invited to be an LV!  I promptly accepted the invitation to be an LV.  I was happy that I had found a way to continue serving impoverished people, while living simply and living in Christian faith-based community.  I was set to take the next steps on my spiritual journey!